Decoding Teen Slang: What Are They Even Saying, and Should You Be Worried?

If you’re a parent of a teenager, chances are you’ve found yourself scratching your head at the words coming out of their mouth. “Sus,” “no cap,” “bussin’,” and my personal favorite, “rizz” (which I think means charm?)—it’s like they’ve joined a secret society with its own language. Before you Google what “yeet” means for the fifth time this month, let’s talk about why teens use slang, whether you should worry about it, and when their choice of words might hint at something deeper.

Why Teens Speak in Code

Slang isn’t new. Every generation has its own way of rebelling—or connecting—with words that sound alien to their parents. For teens, slang is about more than sounding cool (although that’s definitely part of it). It’s a way to build connections with their peers, set themselves apart, and express their identity.

What makes today’s slang feel extra confusing is how fast it changes. Thanks to TikTok, YouTube, and the ever-expanding universe of memes, new phrases pop up overnight, leaving even the hippest parents (yes, you!) in the dust.

Most of the time, this playful language is harmless. It’s a form of self-expression, a bonding tool, and—let’s be honest—a way to keep parents out of the loop. But could slang ever signal something deeper?

When to Tune In Closely

Slang on its own usually isn’t a red flag, but it can be part of a bigger picture when paired with other changes in your teen’s behavior. Here’s when to take a closer look:

1. Their Mood Shifts Dramatically

If your normally chatty teen is suddenly withdrawn or their tone seems unusually aggressive or apathetic, it’s worth exploring. Slang like “I’m dead” or “IDK, whatever” might sound like jokes but could reflect deeper feelings of stress, hopelessness, or disconnection.

2. They Stop Translating

Teens want you to feel a little clueless—it’s part of the fun. But if they start getting defensive, secretive, or even angry when you ask about certain terms or inside jokes, it might be because they’re using language tied to something they’re ashamed or worried about.

3. Slang Becomes a Shield

Notice if they’re dodging deeper conversations with slang-filled quips. For example, saying “I’m fine” (in their world: “I’m chill, fr”) but clearly looking not fine. If they avoid real talk altogether, they could be struggling to express emotions.

4. You Hear Concerning Words

Certain slang terms tied to drugs, alcohol, or risky behavior should catch your attention. Words like “plug” (someone who supplies drugs), “lit” (sometimes referring to being drunk or high), or “sesh” (short for session, often referring to smoking or drinking) might warrant a check-in.

5. Other Changes Align

If new slang comes with shifts in their grades, sleep patterns, appetite, or friendships, these may point to something more than a TikTok-inspired vocabulary overhaul.

How to Respond Without Becoming Sus

(That means suspicious, for those keeping score.)

The key to handling teenage slang—and teenage emotions—is to stay curious, calm, and open.

Here’s how to approach it:

Ask, Don’t Assume

If your teen says something that sounds off, ask what they mean. Don’t interrogate; just be curious. “Hey, I heard you say [insert baffling term]. What’s that about?” can open a door without putting them on the defensive.

Stay Engaged

Even if their words feel like a foreign language, make an effort to learn a little. Laugh with them when you get it hilariously wrong. Showing interest in their world helps them feel seen and understood.

Create Space for Real Conversations

Sometimes, slang is just easier than diving into real emotions. Let your teen know they can come to you—about anything—without fear of judgment or punishment.

When to Consider Therapy

If you’re noticing ongoing changes in your teen’s mood, behavior, or language that make you uneasy, it’s okay to ask for help. Therapy can give them a space to process their feelings, build healthy communication skills, and feel more in control.

A therapist can also help bridge the gap if you feel like you’re “speaking different languages” with your teen. The goal isn’t to fix them (because your teen isn’t broken!)—it’s to give them tools to navigate their challenges and thrive.

The Bottom Line

Teen slang is mostly harmless and often hilarious (even when you don’t understand it). But as with anything, it’s worth tuning in if it comes with other changes that concern you.

And if you’re ever unsure? Therapy is like having a translator for those moments when words—slang or otherwise—just don’t feel enough.

So, next time your teen says something like, “This dinner’s mid, but your vibes are immaculate,” just smile. They’re telling you you’re doing something right.